Nikki is a single mom of one active toddler. If you haven’t been over to her blog, Mommy My Way, I would strongly suggest that you head over there and check it out. If you hadn’t guessed from the name, her blog is a space where she shares her mommy way of life. It’s not advice but a perspective on things that have been successful (or not successful) for her. She mommys her way, which, really, is what we should all be doing. We’re big fans.
What is your favorite part of being a single mom?
My favorite part about being a single mom is our routine. Yes, doing everything alone is hard of course, but I don’t have to worry about what another adult is doing. If the dishes aren’t done, the trash isn’t taken out, or the laundry is piling up, it’s my own fault and there’s no one to be frustrated with except myself. It’s also pretty awesome that I get all the bonding and cuddle time I want. I don’t have to share the giggles. Even when my son is being scolded for something, it’s just me and him, so I’m the one he comes to for comfort.
What is your funniest kid story that still keeps you laughing?
Every day is new with my son. Right now, he thinks it’s hilarious to play fight and bite. I know I shouldn’t let this behavior continue or become a habit, and certainly shouldn’t let him do this in anger, but when we’re playing and he is rolling on the floor laughing his head off, I can’t help but be brought to laughter too!
What is your funniest mom mistake?
Oh gosh, my funniest mom mistake so far just happened yesterday, and it will probably be outshined by something tomorrow. We were at the doctor’s office and my son was walking around the lobby while I checked in. A woman was doting on him behind me asking me questions about him and the receptionist was asking for payment. I was trying to find my card in the abyss of my diaper bag while responding to the woman behind me and trying to keep an eye on my son. I couldn’t find the card I was looking for but had a different one in my hand so just decided to use that. Well, I also had a stick of Chapstick in my other hand (ya know, from the rummaging) and was trying to give the receptionist that instead of my card. She just kept saying, “No,” and I was like, “No, really, take it,” until she finally said, “I need the card not the Chapstick!” I felt so dumb! But I laughed, and I’m still laughing thinking about how crazy I looked. It was a scene straight out of a movie or a TV show, but this is the reality of my life as a single mom. I don’t always know where things are, I have to do a million things at once, and at some point you just have to laugh at yourself and stop taking everything so seriously. We’re all going to screw up, maybe single moms more than married moms because we’re doing double the duty so there’s double the opportunity to make mistakes, but we’re still damn good moms. #allmomsruleWe're all going to screw up. But, we're still damn good moms. #allmomsrule #singlemomlife Click To Tweet
What is your greatest struggle as a single mom?
My greatest struggle is letting go of some of the control. I HAVE to have help. I don’t like asking for it, and I certainly don’t like needing it, but there are times when I have no choice and I have to give up some control in order to get through.
What is your greatest mom accomplishment?
My greatest mom accomplishment is my son. Period. Every single day I look at how smart, handsome, athletic, kind and loving, perfect my son is. I did that. I’m so proud of him every day and so proud of myself for all that he is and does.
Where do you find alone time?
I find alone time at night. My son is an early to bed, early to rise kid. So he goes to bed at 7:30 pm, sometimes earlier. This gives me quite a good chunk of time at night to have me time. I also take advantage of any offer for help that I receive or any other opportunity to have baby-free time. Like if his daycare offers a parents night out, I sign him up. It’s so important to have a life beyond your kids, or at least that you don’t stop doing the things you love just because you’re a mom. For example: I’m doing a 5K, yoga, and meditation in April. My son will be joining me. Sure, it’s going to be difficult with a toddler who doesn’t want to sit still and certainly not do so quietly, but it’s something I really want to do, so I’m going to make it work.
What advice would you have for fellow new single moms?
I actually wrote an entire post on this topic. If you are a single mom with a newborn, my greatest piece of advice is: it gets better. I promise. There will be new kinds of hard all the time, but the newborn stage is a whole different kind of hard. It only lasts a few months, so just get through it however you can. And if you’re a new single mom, the advice still applies. It is hard because it is new, but soon it will become your new normal and you will wonder how you ever did it with a partner (particularly if that partner sucked).